Random thoughts, feelings and mumblings.

I am one of those really fortunate people who after four pregnancies never experienced postpartum depression. I have always considered myself really lucky for this fact. On the flip side I get the post Christmas Season blues something awful. Some years I can push forward and not feel it to bad others not so much. This year was awful!! I don't know why it has to go so fast. It seemed like a blink of an eye Christmas was over, then New Years and baaam, the kids are back to school, Eric's back at work and I'm lonely and sad! It seems like each year there is less and less time to enjoy all the good parts of the holiday season. I know somehow I need to learn to relish it whiles it's here and then move on but it's a struggle. I HATE taking down the decorations, the nativity and lights it only adds to the sadness! I haven't even blogged because every time I get on the Christmas music starts to play and I am sad all over again. How did I get this way? and why? I just love being with my family. We can be laying around in our pjs playing games, watching a movie or out doing some fun activity it honestly doesn't matter. We love being together. The season just adds something special.
Monday was brutal, somehow I managed to pull it together and be somewhat productive. I was scheduled to work Tuesday and Wednesday and actually got to work. I really enjoyed my shifts, and the girls I work with and it was a good distraction. Thursday when I woke up they called and asked me to be on call and in a moment of sleep deprivation I said yes! I spent a couple hours with the kids, made dinner and ran out the door to a meeting. When I got home the kids were in bed, I kissed all their cute faces good night and went to spend a some much needed cuddle time with my sweet and supportive husband. We have literally just high fived each other the last 3 days. By 10:30 I was out only to be woken up at 1:30am (we are in holds can you come in?)
I don't know where the energy came from but I popped out of bed got ready and headed in! It was a weird feeling to start the shift when it was more than half way over. We had a good night again. At 7 they asked if I would go help cover the ER till we had open beds, being the sucker that I am I said Yes again!!! I got home from work around 10:30am. I didn't feel tired and felt a little like I missed out on life this week so Stacey and I went and got a pedi, then I ran to the school to do folders. Still going strong... I picked up Keaton and Jill at 2, did some chores around the house till the other kids got home
I really wanted to do something fun with the kids so we went to a movie as a family, Bedtime Stories was so funny and I even stayed awake!! 9:30 pm bedtime at last!!! What a week!!